Question by Sophia’s Mommy: Wedding problem, Need help!?
My wedding is in 47 days and My Jr brides maid has not gotten her dress yet. All the girls even pitched in to help her buy her dress. The mother keeps telling me that she dosen’t have the time to get the dress, the money for the rest of the dress or gas money to get the dress. Today is my only day off and I said I would take her to get fitted for the dress but I need the rest of the money for the dress. I am 21 a recent college grad and I am also on a tight budget. but i put 100 dollars towards her dress, and need 60 dollars more. I am paying for her nails and hair also..Advice on how to tell the mother!
Best answer:
Answer by Dana D
I think you just need to be forthright with the mother. If she can not afford the additional money for the dress either 1) the daughter isn’t going to be able to be involved or 2) if it means that much to you for her to be involved, then you need to find a way to pony up the remainder. I know money is super tight for everyone & as horrible as this sounds, being a bridesmaid or having multiple bridesmaid often incurs a heavy financial burden.
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tell her straight up u need the money
Well this could be kind of tricky. What was the original agreement? When you asked this girl to be in your wedding was there an understanding that she would be expected to pay for the dress?
If it was understood that she was going to have to pay for the dress then you need to talk with the mother. If that understanding was not made clear then it might be a little more difficult to deal with.
If she did agree to pay I would send her an email. Just say something along the lines of:
“I am so glad that so and so is able to participate in the wedding. Like I said before, I have no problem taking her to get her dress fitted, but per our agreement you still owe $ 60.00 on her dress. I really wish that I could afford to buy a dress for all of my girls, but unfortunately I am on an extremely tight budget. Please call or email me back so we can discuss payment on the dress.”
It’s never easy asking people about things like this…especially if she has been giving you all these excuses. If you don’t feel comfortable maybe you could get one of the bridesmaids to call the mother. The bridesmaid can just say she is helping you out with last minute things because you are so busy and she wanted to know when you could expect the balance on the dress.
Good luck!
tell her to get the money or you will pay it she has to get it back to you or pay for her own hair and nails
This could be her way of hinting to you that the jr bridesmaid doesn’t want to or can’t be in the wedding anymore. I’d go have a face-to-face conversation with the mother to find how what’s really going on here.
im getting married august 2 and my jr bridesmaid doesn’t have her dress either! im in the same situation… good luck!
if the mom doesn’t have the money for gas to buy a dress, how is she going to be able to afford to get to the church.. will she find a way to make it to the reception for free food? you need to be straight up with her. when i,myself agree to be in a wedding, i basically know that i should just deduct $ 500 if not more right out of my account for all the expenses. This mom kinew she would have to put out $ $ . I personally think she is being selfish and trying to make you feel bad about itwith the $ $ card. You need to be straight up with her about how it is making you feel and maybe not havre the child be in the wedding (in the end, the only one the mom is hurting is her daughter, who is prob really excited about being in the wedding). If the mom agrees not to have her in the wedding, but you still want her to be a part of it, let her hand out programs or do something for the ceremony like read or light the side candles for the unity candle before the ceremony starts. good luck.